We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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