Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
