"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
