On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
