Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
