Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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