They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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