..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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