We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
