I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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