I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
