Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
