My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
