Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
