Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize