Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
