There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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