Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
