Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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