I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
