So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
