Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
