Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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