Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
