My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
