Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
