Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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