So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
