Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize