Are we in a gay sports bar?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
