Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize