Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
