we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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