do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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