She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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