so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
