Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I FOUND THE LEGS
i now understand why vodka
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
