dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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