when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
