I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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