i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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