thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
