Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
