i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
