I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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