Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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