she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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