...so i touched it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
