The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
