I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
