I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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