I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
