Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
