was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
