you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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