After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
