are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
