I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just made out with a guy for $7.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize