so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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