We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
