She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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