Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
so much tequila, so little girl.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
