Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
