i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm like, not good at living.
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