Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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