Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
