Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
