I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize