You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
