Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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